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Glee, But Better Episode 1
The first episode of Season 1 of Glee, But Better called Pielut. Written by Nathan Anderson. Story Lily jean grabs her left breast furiously and presses it three times. "There's no place like home." She repeats three times to herself, after every squeeze. She opens Her eyes, which were previously closed tight. As the light which is burning her hip readjusts her vision, She notices her three dollar stinky old platinum blonde wig with purple dip dye and teal roots is still sitting on her table. In a fit of fury, she throws herself out of the window and breaks her leg. She completely ignores it and continues to hobble to school. When she hops on the school bus, she sees Joe selling eccies to Sydney at the back of the bus. She is over come with rage as she kicks joe in the tits because he wouldn't sell to lily. Tots is too high to know whats going on and she rubs her but in a random kids face. When the three arrive at school they head straightbto Glee club, everyone has already arrived. Lily takes a seat next to the cute new guy Matt and they make out and fondle eachother in class. Mrs. Reichtenbuter, the glee club director fapped furiously and was then arrested for being a creepy hoe. Kyler Magee then stood infront of the glee club and proclaimed how much more talented he is than everyone. He continues to sing 'A whole new world' from Aladdin to Nathan. Nathan kicks kyler in the vagina and runs off crying because he hates how gay kyler is. Lily Jean and Matty boi 2k3 stop having sex and run off to lilys haus of wigs and relevance. Maya suggests the theme for this week be Disney song and Kyle and Kyler (the gayest members of glee club) jump in joy. Sydney, the sad old drug pusher stumbles up to the front of the choir room. " I wanna sing 'Big booty bitches' from Bambi" and she begins to twerk furiously, shaking the whole school and creating an earthquake. The school shakes, and rubble start to fall from the ceiling. Suddenly, the earthquake stops as becca smack sydney with a baseball bat and knocks her out. Sydney's but cheeks still twitch violently, however. "AM PURE TALUNT" becca screams before she starts to song 'Under the sea' in a Jamaican accent. Kyle and Kyler dance in the background in mermaid costumes. Suddenly, the door is flung open, the hinges detaching as lily storms through the door "WHO THE FUCK STOLE MY THREE DOLLAR STINKY OLD PLATINUM BLONDE WIG WITH PURPLE DIP DYE AND TEAL ROOTS!?!?!?!?!" the room is silent. Tim abruptly says "No one wants your shitty wig" as lily gets an idea. She notices Nathan's bag, but no Nathan. "WHERE THE FUCK IS NATHAN ZALES". Maya whispers to herself "who" as lily runs, screaming, her knuckles popping vigorously, her false horse teeth throbbing and her penis helicoptering. Nathan is in the bathroom, wearing his custom made premium weave, made with the hair of Zambian youths. As Lily runs in and snatches it from his scalp. Nathan screams "NOO MY BEAUTY" and he has a heart attack (by demi lovato) he begins to song 'Once Upon A Dream' as he dreams of his wig being on his scalp once again. Rose finds him in the bathroom and writes an essay on why he shouldn't be in the girls bathroom before calling an ambulance. They all visit nathan in Dr. Professor Alison Jeans hospital and dildo factory for broken bitches and imperfect angles. "May he rest in piss" lily says as she wears Nathan's premium weave. Sydney's butt cheeks are still twitching vigorously. Kyler Magee looks at Nathan as he goes to snatch another solo but Sydney walsh jumps in and songs 'I Have A Dream'. Kyler kicks sydney in the balls, "wtf bich am trying to grace u wif mah pure talunt". Lily jean throws her flop hit cd 'Lily jean' at kyler's face. "As shown u litraly wuldnt no pur talunt if et hit u in teh face". Nathan suddenly comes back to life, despite the fuglies not knowing he was dead "PICK UP MILK, PICK UP BULLETS, PICK UP N.A.T.E RT RT RT" They all dont give a fuck and go home, except kyler who tries to kiss nathan before he is punched out the window. They end the week by returning to glee club and they all sing 'hakuna matata' except Matt and Lily who are having sex again. Nathan shouts "RT RT RT" and the episode ends. Next week The school musical is being cast - Grease and everyone wants the roles of Danny, Sandy and Rizzo. The self-proclaimed 'Top Bitches' of the Glee club audition against each other with a new threat in bound to steal their artpop. Songs